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Makeup Fast: Day 1 of 40 (I am a Coward)

Written on Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Let’s start out on a cheerful note, with a list of things that I don’t like about my face:

  • I have really large pores
  • My skin gets very oily
  • Forehead wrinkles
  • My under-eye area is a little baggy, and is getting wrinkly
  • Blemishes (this is a big one around certain times of the month)
  • Uneven skintone
  • My eyelashes are so blonde, they might as well be invisible

I don’t know why I started this fast today. This is the worst time of the month for this kind of thing, on account of my crazy hormones giving me the skin of an adolescent girl. I was getting Ellie ready to go to her Nana’s, and I brought my makeup along with me, and just never ended up putting it on. (I was in a hurry.) Then I drove to work, parked, and stared at my makeup bag for the better part of a minute. Normal-me would have put my makeup on in the car (I’ve done it countless times), but today I just knew that it was the beginning of the fast. So I grabbed my makeup bag (not unlike a security blanket?), and snuck, barefaced, into the office.

I’ve been planning on doing this fast for a couple of months now, but could never muster the courage to actually begin. But today, during my staring-contest with my makeup bag, something snapped, and I decided it was go-time. I didn’t even consult my calendar for conflicts, I just did it. (This is crazy behavior for me. I don’t just do things. I’m a planner, you see.)

——————-

Want to hear something embarrassing and stupid I did today? (Of course you do.) I was at the iFixit office (none of them said a WORD about my hideous face, by the way. Such gentleman, those guys.), and when it came time to go to lunch, instead of going to lunch in public, like a normal person would, I was so self-concious that I drove home to eat lunch by myself.

And I never went back to the office.

Fortunately for me, I can write from anywhere, so I ate my lunch on my own, and then plunked myself down at my desk to begin working on scripts for upcoming projects. On the upside, I saved myself 7ish dollars on lunch. On the downside, I am so ashamed of my naked face that I’m actually avoiding contact with other people. Wowza.

Usually, I would have went to a place called Kreuzberg for lunch, because the food is okay, and there’s wifi, and the atmosphere is conducive for iFixit-script-writing. BUT there is a chance that I would see somebody I KNOW at Kreuzberg, and what if they saw my face? Don’t ask me how I’m going to make it out to do my grocery shopping, or take Ellie to the pool, or go to church of all places, because I just don’t know. When writing the rules, I should have also forbidden the wearing of ski-masks, because I’m seriously considering picking one up. (You know, to wear to church. Can you image that?)

Tomorrow we’re going to do some filming at work, which means I’ll have to “put my face on,” and it is going to take every shred of will-power I have to wash that stuff off when I’m through shooting.

To say that I’m eager for a change to take place is an understatement. I am so totally and completely uncomfortable in my own skin, it’s pathetic. Oh, and I took a picture to commemorate this awful day.

Why did I do this to me?

I kept my glasses on for the picture, because they kind of make up for my invisibly-blonde eyelashes. I’m so cowardly. :/

xoxo,

mj

——————————–

For details on the “Fresh-Faced for 40 Days” makeup fast, check out this post.

Please join me! You can participate as passively as cheering me along (I will need lots of encouragement), or as actively as joining me in fasting from makeup for the full 40 days. I would love to have some ladies on this journey with me! If you’re interested in joining me, I’ve made a Facebook group where we can keep each other updated on our progress, post links to our blog posts, and generally hold each other accountable. Obviously, we’ll all be starting on different days, so it’ll be fun to cheer each other on through the different stages.

Also, feel free to use the button I’ve made (in the left sidebar, on the top) to link-back to the original post, so you don’t have to do all of the ‘splaining to your friends if you don’t want to.

Or, you can just subscribe to my blog over there in the sidebar, or follow me on twitter @melissajenna.

If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to share them. I always love hearing what you guys have to say.

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15 Comments

  1. Brandon Barkley

     /  June 28, 2012

    “(none of them said a WORD about my hideous face, by the way. Such gentleman, those guys.)”

    I bet at least 75% of them didn’t even notice.

    Reply
    • Brandon Barkley

       /  June 28, 2012

      Actually, I have made a few little comments, but I am really getting some insight into my wife that I never understood before. I think she has a similar attachment to you to her makeup and talks about how she cannot bear to be seen in public without it.

      Sometimes I tell her how I think she looks beautiful in the morning and she thinks I am lying because she has no makeup on and her hair is not brushed, but I legitimately mean it. To me, I really don’t notice too much when she is not wearing makeup, at least not the “cover up” type of stuff like concealer. Lipstick and the such is more noticeable I suppose, but her lips look fine without it.

      Reply
      • My husband says the same thing, and it’s not that I think he’s lying, but I don’t see it for MYSELF, you know? And, I have to admit, part of me thinks “well, what do you know anyway?” Because he knows so very little about what I do to make myself look pretty to other people. But hopefully by the end of this thing, when he tells me I look beautiful naturally, I can just say “thank you,” and mean it honestly.

        Reply
      • I agree with Brandon :). Yea, I’m just a teenage girl, but I am sure I know that hubbies mean those words :D. I also struggled through the same lack in self-confidence and self-esteem. But somewhere down the road, I discovered what really matters and learned to walk chin-up. Way it go Sir! And for Melissa, you’re beautiful. God always tells that to you every morning :). Keep smiling! It is the best attire and make-up you could ever wear!

        Reply
  2. Anne

     /  June 28, 2012

    I think this is great. Hang in there and be proud. You are beautiful inside and out… So, I say, grin and “bare” it.

    Reply
  3. I think that you are absolutely beautiful without makeup.

    Reply
  4. I understand feeling a little freaked out by changing something that is a habit, and is also a major part of how you see yourself. Seeing yourself with makeup on is part of your “residual self image,” like in The Matrix. (all of my internet arguments/comments stem from The Matrix. Don’t know why.)

    I say, keep trying it out. It may just feel really weird because it’s so different. And I bet that if someone you knew saw you, they’d be excited to say hi, because they like saying hi to Melissa, and not specifically Melissa With Makeup.

    Reply
    • I know in my head that you’re right (about my friends wanting to say hi to ME and not makeupface-me, but it’s still so uncomfortable! I intend on seeing this through to its end, and hopefully getting a little more comfortable in my own skin in the process. And referring to The Matrix on the Internet will get you everywhere. 😉

      Reply
  5. lexy883

     /  July 4, 2012

    Thank you! I have been told by friends that my husband would love for me to read these books! If I have to read these to make my husband happy, there is something wrong! I do not want him going to strip clubs, so why would it be ok for me to see Magic Mike? Thank you for speaking out!

    Reply
  6. melissavenable

     /  July 5, 2012

    I agree, you are beautiful without it. I also have to say you are such an honest blogger… and i love that. Admitting that i didn’t go out to eat b/c i was ashamed of my bare face – i can totally understand this, identify with it, but also know that i probably wouldn’t admit that on my blog. And i’m an honest blogger, too, usually. Just think you have guts & that’s pretty cool. 🙂

    Reply
  7. melissavenable

     /  July 5, 2012

    P.S. I have blonde lashes too – arghhhh!

    Reply
  8. Rose

     /  July 8, 2012

    I had a poem at one point taped to my mirror about us being created in His image and how I was unique and wonderfully made etc. I kept that stuck to my mirror for a long time and read it all the time. You ARE very pretty just the way you are. You don’t have to hide behind make-up. I never wear it but mostly because I sweat so bad it doesn’t stay on and another reason, I think I wasn’t putting it on right and someone that modeled (a teen friend of mine) said I didn’t NEED make-up. So I stopped wearing the stuff. I never enjoyed all that effort anyway. LOL But I REALLY DO see where you are coming from with this and I DO understand WHY you are doing this and I really really think it IS GOOD that you are doing it so you can be comfortable in your own skin without hiding behind it. 🙂 Got made only one of YOU and one set of fingerprints just for you and even each hair on your head is different from anyone else’s. You ARE unique and wonderfully made! He doesn’t make mistakes. Keep up the good work, you’re going to get there with HIS help! 🙂

    Reply
  9. Anyway, I love the “staring-contest” part :)). You really have a good sense of humor =)

    Reply

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