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Overcoming The “Dirty Girl” Paradigm: Embracing God’s Plan For Sex

The comment thread on “50 Shades of Magic Mike” is about a mile long. I’ll never do every excellent comment justice, though I wish I could. There were so many valid concerns raised, and so many worthy questions asked, that I could spend the next year writing about just that stuff alone. (But rest assured that I won’t.)

One particularly insightful commenter mentioned that telling Christian woman to “just say no” to temptation in the form of pornographic novels, and sexually objectifying films doesn’t actually address any underlying issues, and I think the commenter is right. I think the commenter’s point was that we have to ask ourselves why we feel drawn to that type of media in the first place.

Nobody Wants to Be “The Dirty Girl”

One (of the many) reasons Christian women consume media like “Magic Mike” and “50 Shades”, the commenter speculated, is that many Christian women feel sexually repressed, and when offered the opportunity for some socially-acceptable “release,” they’ll pounce. This does not sound unreasonable to me. Though I personally do not identify with this behavior, I am aware that many women have been raised to view sex as dirty, or shameful. In the church’s effort to promote chastity, many women have been made to feel that sex, in general, is wrong, and while you might not see the harm in a 13 year old girl walking around with that opinion, what happens when she grows up and gets married?

While sexual repression is certainly not the only reason Christian women have flocked to see “Magic Mike” in droves, or lost themselves in the “50 Shades of Grey” series, it is definitely a reason. And one worth exploring.

Celebrating God’s Gift of Marital Sex

I understand the social awkwardness of preaching on the beauty and pleasure of sex in a Christian context. (Our culture doesn’t seem to have a problem of doing so itself, so can we blame so many for following the culture’s lead on this?) But if we do not honestly communicate the awesomeness of God’s gift of (marital) sex, and instead limit our talking on the subject to “sex is wrong until you’re married,” we’re handicapping generation after generation of women. (I  say women, specifically, because generally men are not taught that sex is “wrong,” they are simply told to “wait,” whereas much of a young woman’s identity is wrapped-up in remaining pure. When women are taught about sex, it’s often shrouded in an element of dirtiness, as if “only bad girls think about sex.”)

If you’re not feeling “in touch” with your sexuality, or maybe you were raised to think of sex the way I described above, you need to know that it is good  for you and your marriage to improve your understanding of sexual intimacy, and devote some time to unlearning any unhealthy messages you received about sex growing up. It might be the single greatest gift you can give to your marriage, to have a healthy understanding of God’s design for sex.

Resources

One particularly great resource I’ve found is Sheila Wray Gregoire‘s (of “To Love, Honor and Vacuum“) book “The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All The Fun)” which you can pick up off of Amazon for just over $10. Here’s a snippet of the description:

Whether you’re about to walk down the aisle or you’ve been married for decades, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex will lead you on a wonderful journey of discovery towards the amazing sex life God designed you for.

With humor, research, and lots of anecdotes, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how our culture’s version of sex, which concentrates on the physical above all else, makes sex shallow. God, on the other hand, intended sex to unite us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Gregoire walks through these three aspects of sex, showing how to make each amazing, and how to overcome the roadblocks in each area we often encounter.

At present it has 63 reviews on Amazon, and the average rating is 5 out of 5. (It’s rare that a book on such a “racy” subject averages 5/5, in case you are unfamiliar with Amazon’s book-rating-system.) If you think you might like to read it, I suggest reading through some of the reviews people have written, to ensure that it’s a good purchase for you.

And if you’re not feeling like buying a book on sex (can’t blame you. What if your kid opens the package before you get to it?), but you’re interested in improving intimacy with your husband, you might like Sheila’s series “29 Days to Great Sex,” which is available for free, online. (Even if you and your husband are already, um, “proficient,” you should check it out anyway. It never hurts to refresh your perspective, and you might get some fun ideas. I’ve read her post for “Day 9” several times since she posted it, and I always come away with, um, “renewed zeal.”)

We Are Not “The Church Lady”

Being a Christian woman, one of the most irritating stereotypes that’s perpetuated is that we’re all like Dana Carvey’s SNL character “the church lady.” Sure, some of us are. But most of us are not. God created sex, and it’s obvious how much our culture LOVES (even idolizes) sex. One way Christian women can do a better job of reflecting God to the world is by having amazing, healthy sex-lives with our husbands, and not being afraid to talk about sex, tastefully. (And I have to admit, of all the ways we can reflect God to the world, having a healthy sex-life is probably my favorite.)

What other resources are available that deal with God’s plan for sex, and maintaining an awesome sex-life with your spouse? Do you have any favorites? Share ’em in the comments!

xoxo,

mj

—————

Let’s be friends!

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30 Comments

  1. Heather

     /  July 9, 2012

    I just started following your blogs and am completely enthralled! A friend referred me to your work after I confessed my desire to see Magic Mike…needless to say what you had to say about it helped me walk away from the opportunity to see it at a very crucial moment. Something you said struck a nerve…”No one wants to be the “dirty girl”.” You are so right…out of my group of girlfriends at our church I am the only one who wants to see it and it makes me feel disgusting. I’m meeting with my mentor to find out the underlying reason why I am so drawn to want to see this movie. I already feel like a lost cause having read most of Fifty Shades of Gray…but my mentor is such a wise woman of God and I’m hoping, with her help, the Lord will help me get through this journey. I was taught from the start that sex was bad. Period. It was a taboo subject never discussed except by my friends at school. I believe that not talking about it eventually got to the place I’m at…a single parent. And to hear a woman talk about sex so candidly and also in a Godly context is refreshing. So thank you and I look forward to whatever else you have!

    Reply
  2. I hope these links come through ok- please edit if you necessary
    http://themarriagebed.com Probably the most followed Christian forum regarding sexuality and tons of resources.
    http://www.shannonethridge.com She authored or co authored some of the “Every Woman’s Battle” series of books and the Sexually Confident Wife.
    http://www.christiannymphos.org Six anonymous Christian woman blogging aobut sexual issues. Lots of great articles archived because only one continues to blot at http://www.monogabliss.com.
    http://www.upliftingmarriage.com/ Several christian bloggers that deal with sexual issues- click on member list go their websites some of which MJ linked in her first post.

    “Intimacy Ignited” by Dillow and Pintus does a great job with Song of Solomon.
    Kevin Leman’s book “Sheet Music” is great.

    This is just a start on quality Christian materials available.

    Reply
    • This is just what I was hoping for! I read “Every Woman’s Battle” before I became a Christian, and it was the first book I had read that made me think critically about the longterm effects of my choices. Thank you for sharing so many great resources!

      Reply
  3. I grew up in church (deacon’s kid which is pretty much the same as preacher’s kid), and I learned very early how to put on the “good girl mask” to fool the church which little by little following culture more and more. I don’t remember anyone specifically teaching sex is dirty, but I still managed to pick it up which simultaneously dabbling into light romance novels, and then “smut” novels around the time I walked away from the church. (I “wandered” for 20 years before finally turning back to God.) Naturally, I left myself wide open to fail at my “no sex until marriage” goal (along with a few other moralistic/legalistic goals), and so by the time we did get married, I had no idea what a healthy married sex life should be leaving both of us disappointed for many years. We both dabbled with porn individually, and he gave it up before I did. I fell into it so gradually (and with a little help from tequila), that I was hooked before I knew it. Even after we both quit using porn, we had problems. Then last year, a group of us “younger” women decided to start a young women’s Bible study, and the first study we did was on a book called “Intimate Issues” (which I won’t look up here at work in an office full of men). It was going through that book, particularly chapter 8, that I named my shower “the confessional” after pouring out a long history of sexual sin. Between that and letting my husband know about my porn problem, it was like being freed. It wasn’t like we had bad sex before, but where it was just about sex before, it became much more intimate and fulfilling.

    Reply
  4. Me too, just started following your blog after one of my friends posted your “50 Shades of Magic Mike” on facebook. I loved what you said and i started following you.To tell you the truth, i never heard of it before you mentioned it. I guess i am so out dated 🙂 but after i read your blog, i will sure not want to see the movie or read the book.

    I completely agree with you. Love what you said. I was born and raised in Egypt and they teach every single word you said. I hardly talked to my mom about sex. It’s as if it is shameful. Before, i got married, she just bought a book for me to read. Of course, as a teenager, i talked to my friends about it and knew everything but i was so embarrassed to ask my mom. It shouldn’t be that way. I married an American man, moved to the States and i completely changed my view. yes Church has a huge effect but also culture.

    I will sure take your recommendations about reading the above books. I don’t think there is a perfect marriage or perfect sex. There is always room to improve.

    Thank you for posting and encouraging us !

    Reply
  5. Had to comment. My husband and I likely have a rather unconventional view of sex as believers. We were both brought up as believers but neither of us were ever really given ‘the Talk’ by our parents and we certainly never had the benefit of our parents speaking candidly about sex to us when we came of age. So as a result, our worldview when it came to sex was a rather nebulous ‘shouldn’t do that’ mentality ‘because the Bible says not to.’ It goes without saying that we intend to do things differently when our oldest son hits adolescence. The same goes for such uncomfortable issues as masturbation. My husband will face it head on with our sons because we feel like it would be doing them a disservice to ignore it. That being said, we both feel like the issue of sex in the context of the Church has far too many taboos on it. These taboos are ammo for Satan to use to keep up separated from our Lord. It’s a perfect breeding ground for the enemy to pounce on. Why should this topic be minced around? Why is it so agonizingly embarrassing for Christians to talk about something so CORE and INTEGRAL to marriage and family? If sex is created by God, then it stands to reason that anything that can be enjoyed between a husband and wife in the privacy of their bedrooms AND WITHOUT bringing other people into it (in the form of porn) is A-OK. The book of Song of Solomon is pretty clear on this. I’ve always wondered why there would be any questions regarding ‘what’s ok in the bedroom’ between husband and wife. If you are married, have at it! The whole, ‘have sex as if Jesus were in the bedroom with you’ is spoken as if he DISAPPROVES of ANY enjoyment of the act. He CREATED it to be enjoyed and REVELED in! Why should he be grieved if a married couple were adventurous and enjoyed each other? Great article, Melissa! You’ve really given me a lot to think about!

    Reply
  6. face2theson

     /  July 9, 2012

    Yes!!!! And AMEN! Yahoooooo! 🙂

    Reply
  7. Hi Melissa. I found your blog through a friend from church who posted your “MM and 50shades” post and I just fell in love. I had been wanting to post something on my facebook page just like you had written but I am terrible with words and would do a horrible job. So I was so glad to read your post and then I shared it on my page and it’s gotten a lot of buzz!
    I grew up Christian… well I like to say lukewarm Christian (the worst kind!) and in a family that did not talk about sex or periods or becoming a woman or any of that stuff that is very important for girls to learn about. So I just grew up with the idea that it’s wrong, don’t do it or you will surely go to Hell and God will hate you. Only disgusting people do that and so on. Now I am glad that I waited or my husband. It was truly a gift I got to share with him on our wedding night and it was a very magical and wonderful time and memory, however, now being married for more than 2 years, I have trouble with intimacy. I sometimes push him off of me when he’s getting handsy and feel awful telling my precious husband to get off of me I don’t think this is right. It’ terrible. I love him more than anything here on earth, and love my Heavenly Father more, and know that sex is a gift He gave us for our marriage, yet I have a lot of issues with feeling disgusting with myself for doing these things. Seems so crazy right?!
    So my mentor and leader of my “Love your husband” Bible study have given me this book to read which I am starting today. It’s called “Sex and the Supremacy of Christ” written by my very favorite pastor, speaker and author, John Piper and also edited by Justin Taylor (who I don’t know)

    Anyways! Now that I’ve shared my deepest darkest struggle. I am drawn to you and I know that’s what it is because the Bible tells us that we are drawn to others who have Christ in their hearts and I love love that you do. It is so amazing to read your posts. I thank you for them. Also, I discussed with my husband on doing a make up fast and he is SO for it! He tries to get me to not wear it at all but I feel better about myself when I do. and I get a clearly different response from the public when I do, too. As a photographer I try to look “put together” at all times. So, I am praying about this and we’ll see, I might do a fast as well!

    Thanks SO much for reading.
    Love and blessings,
    Bethany Faith Burt

    Reply
  8. I love A Celebration of Sex. It’s for Christian couples (although I’m sure all married couples could benefit) and includes ideas, poses, God’s truth about sex. It’s great! I also love good ole Song of Solomon. It’s a hot, steamy romance without abuse within the context of marriage. It’s also not meant to arouse us or give us an unhealthy view of reality. It does make me want to go make love to my husband.

    Reply
  9. oysterbed7

     /  July 9, 2012

    In our sex soaked society, grappling what is godly sexuality is a bit tricky, and yet not tricky at all….. sexuality within marriage is beautiful. Yes, I agree that it is interesting why some women are drawn to the 50 Shades and Magic Mikes…. But, we can have our own Magic within our marriages, if we communicate with our spouses and overcome certain obstacles. as mentioned above, ALL the Uplift Marriage/Christian Marriage Bloggers Association are great.

    A few that are specific to female sexuality issues are: http://www.hotholyhumorous.blogspot.com – J is a very candid and witty writer regarding the logistics of all things sexually intimate. http://www.intimacyinmarriage.com – Julie Siebert also covers great sexuality topics, is very REAL.
    http://www.oysterbed7.com – Pearl (me) covers libido (or lack thereof, sometimes).

    Reply
  10. melissavenable

     /  July 9, 2012

    Love this post. I waited until marriage to have sex. I made that commitment when i was probably 12 or 13. At 25, still not married & still a virgin, i was beginning to think, “seriously?!” Haha. But i kept waiting… because i really believed it was God’s plan. I am seeing from this that not all christians were raised with a healthy view of this. I was raised to believe sex outside of marriage is wrong but inside of marriage it is good. I wasn’t told sex was dirty or anything like that. For that i am thankful.

    I ended up getting married at 30 years old and yes, we were both virgins. I actually was embarrassed about it in my late 20’s – i mean, i knew almost no one who was still a virgin! But I am SO thankful to have waited. I knew it was God’s plan & a good idea before we married, but i honestly didn’t know how glad i would be that i waited until we were married. It’s such a gift. And the sex is good. People would ask me ‘what if you’re not compatible’ & you know – that’s so not even an issue. We are compatible, because God put us together!

    Great post. So glad to have found you!

    Reply
  11. Laura

     /  July 9, 2012

    I just found your site, and wanted to thank you for what you are talking about- in particular this subject and the no make up thing. I’ve never been a makeup junkie, but don’t like how I look without some on. I’ve been weaning myself off, and to know that someone has similar thoughts about it is really encouraging.
    I’ve struggled in my marriage because I grew up hearing sex is dirty and bad. It is really hard to come around from that, but I’m working on it. One thing that recently helped me change the way I view it is watching this sermon series (with my husband) on the Song on Solomon/Songs: http://marshill.com/media/the-peasant-princess

    Reply
  12. ababyfrog

     /  July 9, 2012

    I think this is SO spot on! Even just reading this, I was convicted. I never have had any desire to go see Magic Mike, or to read 50 Shades, in fact, both repulsed me. But I realized that I am just as guilty. Until tonight my Pinterest account hosted a board called “eye candy” in which, among brightly colored paintings, flowers and other feasts for the eyes, it was peppered with attractive (sometimes shirtless) actors and famous men that I find attractive. I have been thinking lately about taking them down, but didn’t act on it, thinking “what’s the harm?”. Reading this tonight and realizing that if my husband had 30 or so pin-ups or pictures of attractive women, (especially scantily clad ones), that I would be SO hurt and upset. Moreover, as believers in Christ, “our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with,a that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. ” Rom 6:6-7.
    So, we need to put off old habits, old, sin-nature things that are no longer a part of who we are in Christ. We are made NEW!!! Praise God for this blog post because it is perfectly aligned to challenge the condition of my heart in a practical way. I have been reading in Romans, and just came up to this yesterday. I want to live in a way that is pleasing to God, and I want the Holy Spirit to be working in my heart and changing me. Praise God! He is! Praise Him for this specific word, speaking into my life and heart. Thanks for being bold, truth-filled, Biblical, and risking seeming uncool or unpopular. It is pleasing to God, whose praise matters more than any other.
    Amen!!! Preach sista!

    I will be reading and commenting more in the coming days. Thanks

    Reply
  13. Sharon Jeanguenat

     /  July 10, 2012

    You are SO right in some aspects of this article! I grew up in the 50s & ‘sex’ was a dirty word, for women, anyway. I was basically raised to believe that ALL women were really bad, & just a step away from leading some man astray. I grew up with that attitude, & when I got to where I was old enough to do as I pleased, I totally rebelled. (I’m one of those that has to learn the hard way.) I’m 62 now, & have been saved since Dec. 1, 1990, & have FINALLY discovered that God is not an ogre, waiting for us to mess up, & then zap us to hell. He loves us, & in His mercy, forgives us, WHEN we repent. I did the sleeping around, etc, & look back in shame on my past. However, God has forgiven me, & so have the ones that I hurt the most by my lifestyle~my 3 wonderful, amazing sons. Too many people aren’t serious about their commitment to God, & therefore, when something comes along, will mess up real quick. And, nobody MAKES you mess up, but yourself. The devil will tempt you to do something, but you don’t HAVE to give in! We’re told to flee the very appearance of evil, & to set no wicked thing before us, so when we watch or read trash like the two things you talk about in this article, we open the door, & LET the enemy in. Keep up the good job!

    Reply
  14. Here are some more specific posts to help take things up a notch in the bedroom. You can browse either of the following websites for more good information if you are struggling in your marriage. The people that wrote these posts have overcome many challenges.
    .

    http://christiannymphos.org/2009/10/08/how-to-seduce-your-husband/

    http://site.themarriagebed.com/problems/desire/how-to-get-him-to-want-sex

    http://site.themarriagebed.com/sexuality/sexual-play/better-sex-4-him

    http://site.themarriagebed.com/sexuality/sexual-play/how-to-strip-female

    My hunch is that as you try some of these ideas, if you have a decent sexual relationship with him, he may well reciprocate.

    Reply
  15. Love this post! I totally believe that God intended sex between husband and wife to be wonderful, but still have a hard time sometimes not feeling like it’s wrong. My husband and I both read Intended for Pleasure before we got married. It does a great job describing physically what happens for men and women during sex with a Christian perspective. The guy who wrote it is a counselor and Christian sex therapist. Who knew that existed? I don’t totally agree with everything in the book, specifically some of the stuff his wife says, but on the whole it’s a great resource for beginning your sex life with your husband or wife.

    Thanks for writing about this!

    Reply
  16. ShalomSeeker

     /  July 10, 2012

    I, too, grew up in the church, and while my parents have a healthy perspective on sex, the fact that it embarrassed my mother to discuss (she’s just a private person) combined with outside messages I was receiving somehow filtered into my brain to create an unhealthy, sex-is-dirty philosophy in my subconscious. I realized this in my mid-twenties and determined to see what God said about sex.

    Gotta tell ya, it changed my perspective entirely. God is so pro-sex! But He’s very careful to give you this gift in the context where it won’t do damage to you. I liken sexual activity to using dynamite: much of this country was constructed with the strategic use of dynamite; it’s a wonderful tool. It’s also very powerful, and when used inappropriately, it does terrible, sometimes irreparable, damage. (It’s also not something you ignite until you intend to use it, ’cause it’s designed to explode!)

    You said, “…it is good for you and your marriage to improve your understanding of sexual intimacy, and devote some time to unlearning any unhealthy messages you received about sex growing up.” I gotta tell you, I’m 39, single, and a virgin, and part of the reason this is so is because I went out unlearned my unhealthy perspectives and got God’s view. I would argue that it’s good for EVERYone–married OR single–to have God’s view on this. It created in me the ability to believe God’s good plan for my life…and wait for it. So someday, when God brings me to my Adam, I will offer to him a little (properly used) dynamite. ;o)

    Reply
  17. Wow thanks for doing this post- this is TOTALLY something that the church needs to talk about CORRECTLY. I know what you mean about “no one wants to be the dirty girl”- there have been times when I was having problems with lust and I felt like surely no other girls have this problem- no one told me what to do when I see a tall skinny guy in black and immediately think I wanna bang him. (Excuse the language, but that really is what I’ve thought sometimes.) Girls don’t think things like that.

    I’m not married and I just recently started dating someone, so I’ve been thinking a lot about what dating is supposed to be for Christians, and realizing I had a lot of it wrong. A lot of what I’ve been taught from Christian culture seems to be based in fear- “Don’t have sex, don’t kiss him, don’t hold hands, you’re giving away part of yourself and you’ll NEVER get it back, OH NOES!!!!!!!”- Basically “dating is bad.” I plan to write about this kind of stuff on my blog, because I feel strongly about it and some of it just doesn’t make sense at all, and that needs to be addressed.

    Reply
  18. Ever have a moment where you’re so excited and blessed and in agreement about something you just read that you just can’t say anything besides those Southern Baptist pew-calls of “Amen!” and “Preach it!”? Yeah, that’s me right now. Especially about that last bit! Wow!

    Reply
  19. I am surprised nobody has yet commented with the website http://www.cwives.com ! This is an excellent website run by a female Christian psychologist. The acronym stands for Christian Wives Initiating, Valuing, & Enjoying Sex. They also offer monthly “dares” to encourage women to initiate sex with their husbands using different & fun ways.

    Reply
  20. If you are more of an auditory learner type person, here are three great podcasts that cover Christian sexuality.

    http://www.sexymarriageradio.com Gina Parris is a sports performance coach who adapts some of those theories to the bedroom, and Corey Allen is a licensed counselor. They have a great way of interacting with each other, and sometimes even respectfully disagree.

    http://www.stupendousmarriage.com/category/podcast Stu and Lisa Gray are a married couple who just have a great on-air chemistry. She sells real estate and he works in voice media. They share their journey and comment on lots of good resources.

    http://www.oneextraordinarymarriage.com/ This is Tony and Alisa. They are a married couple who have had some major ups and downs with porn addiction, loss of a child, financial issues, but they turned their marriage around when they did a 60 day sex challenge with each other. They are quite open about the bumps in the road in everyday life and the importance of hanging in there.

    Reply
  21. Melissa Melissa Melissa! WOW! Girl, you are rockin it out on this subject!
    THANK YOU! Your voice is bringing some serious life truths to light and I LOVE IT!!
    I’m happily married (23 yrs) and have 3 young adult kids(17, 19 & 22). It’s scary to me what the world is cramming down our throats…but honestly, it’s always been there. Something that has been useful to my own family is COMMUNICATION! We talk about everything. At dinner, in the car….on walks, wherever!
    My kids know—there is something amazing and worth waiting for in sex. I’m inspired by their SOULED OUT attitudes to purity and feel just as excited for them for holding out.

    PS-Growing up with sexual abuse in my past was a huge obstacle to overcome in my marriage. Thankfully, my husband insisted I seek counseling and the scars (still there) do not consume me any longer.
    You can have a wonderful sex life and as Christians….it is an honor to know God created sex just for us!

    I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!! KEEP WRITING!

    Reply
  22. Everything in the physical world is a shadow of spiritual reality, is it not (Colossians 2:17)? Then spiritual intimacy (sex) is no different. We talk about knowing HIm…Well, the type of knowing Christ that is spoken of in Philippians 3:10 was actually a Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. I wonder, when was the last time that we approached Him, desiring spiritual intimacy? When do we say to Him, “Draw me after You and let us run together. Bring me into your chambers. I’m submit to Your love (Song 1:4a).” We are then unfulfilled when we don’t prepare for His Presence. May we go there today.

    I’m starting a new series on Presence today at http://hungryformore.org Maybe we can all come to know the freedom of His intimacy as we journey together. Blessings.

    Reply
  23. Kim

     /  July 11, 2012

    I too have starting following you since Magic Mike and 50 Shades post. You give me inspiration and encouragment. I fight depression and anxiety. Also having marrital problems. I grew up in a Christian family and went through the motions. My husband and I started going to our church in January and were baptised on July 1st. Starting out again in Christianity but discovering everything yourself and not trying to understand from others is hard. Your posts have help me tremendously. Thank you. I will keep reading. Just know you are making a difference.

    Reply
  24. Kathy

     /  July 12, 2012

    It is said that 1 out of 4 women will be sexually abused in their life time. If that is true, there are A LOT of women out there with some serious issues to overcome in regards to their sexuality. I am not sure how well a sex books can address this. There is so much personal work that has to go into it for healing to begin. If you are in this situation, consider professional therapy and find some safe friends to talk with. It will be one of the most difficult things you can sort through….so painful that you wonder if it will consumeyou…. but so worth it in the end.

    Reply
  25. Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II. It’s quite a read…I haven’t gotten through it all, I have to admit. Christopher West has written some wonderful “interpretations” of the Pope’s incredibly valuable work to serve as a way to help beginners and intermediates to delve in to his writings.

    I particularly love West’s “Good News About Sex and Marriage,” “Heaven’s Song,” and “At the Heart of the Gospel.” If you haven’t heard about Theology of the Body, PLEASE check it out. It’s so refreshing to learn about human sexuality in light of our faith and the Gospel.

    Reply
  26. IronBatMaiden

     /  February 27, 2014

    OMG! This post has helped so dealing much! My mom is so repressed and projected that onto me so much, that I became tokophobic! I’m not even kidding you! She was so scared that I would get pregnant at 18 like both my grandmothers did, that she suppressed any kind of sex in the home. She thinks that only fulanas (Spanish for slut or whore) talk openly about sex. I know that attitude is very unhealthy, and I want to change that! I’m sick of being afraid of any sexual contact because of a fear of pregnancy!

    While I have not read Magic Mike or 50 Shades of Gray, I have found an outlet in a (harmless) fetish group.

    Reply
  1. Is Your Sex A Spiritual Thang? « From Ashy to Classy
  2. Book Review: The Good Girl’s Guide To Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire « Passionate Christian Marriage

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