The Problem With Blogging (There Are No Secrets on The Internet)

Probably my least favorite thing about blogging, is that I can’t share everything. I feel like I can talk to you guys about everything and anything under the sun. (I mean, let’s face it, it doesn’t get much more personal than talking about family-planning methods, or posting pictures of expressed breast milk.) We’ve covered a lot of sensitive and personal ground. But yet, there are subjects that are off-limits. Basically anything that involves people I actually know in real life—unless it’s gleamingly positive—is a no-no zone.

I want to tell you all about what’s happened since the ShareSLO contest ended (SO MUCH good stuff!!!!!!!), but I can’t. I want to tell you why I feel so positively about them choosing Bentley over the other 8 candidates, but I can’t. I want to tell you about the little conversations I’ve had with friends of other contestants, and the hilarious and delightful stuff they said, but I just can’t.

And that’s all positive, happy stuff! What if my marriage was in trouble? (It’s totally not, which is why I feel comfortable using that as an example.) What if I wanted to reach out to you, my brain trust, for your marriage-wisdom? I mean, I look at someone like Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com, and how totally shocked I was when she announced that she and Jon were divorcing. There’s a tragic sort of irony in sharing your life with people, growing intimate and close with them, yet being unable to disclose the really meaningful stuff.

I guess the only solution is to really become besties with everyone. Chat on the phone, text during the middle of the day, the whole nine.

I know many of you keep blogs of your own. Where do you draw the line with regards to what’s appropriate or inappropriate to share?

Basically, just you so you guys know my philosophy, here’s my where I stand: if it’s likely to hurt someone’s feelings, I won’t share it on my blog. Note, though, that this is different than disagreeing. You guys know I don’t shy away from sharing my opinion, and I love hearing the opinions of others. But clashing opinions is totally different than hurting someone’s feelings. Where’s your line?

My cup runneth over with ideas for upcoming posts. It’s actually somewhat overwhelming. I’m going to do my best to bring two of those ideas to life next week.

mj

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Let’s be friends!

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3 Comments

  1. MJ, it’s posts like this that I love about you. It’s interesting on my blog, I don’t publish who I am as clearly as you, but that’s at least partially because of my circumstances. So that would be one line of mine, but a very different line.

    I would say that my line is I won’t say things that I’m not sure about. If I do not know where I stand, I won’t speculate because I don’t want to be known as a flip flopper. That’s not to say that I haven’t changed my mind, but I sincerely believed what I said the first time….

    I don’t know if that made sense… I don’t have a line when it comes to making sense…

    Reply
  2. My two cents is that, coming from my perspective, is that you probably have spare capacity in your friendship bank.

    What I mean is that I see some people have a full life. They don’t want to make new friends, not because they are bad people, because they haven’t got any more time/energy.

    Perhaps you still have time for new friends. Or perhaps all your followers / readers are (in your mind) kinda like a composite friend. A good friend who you want to make time for and update with things.

    In terms of appropriate / inappropriate, it’s all down to expectations. Be upfront (which you are and have done) about what is appropriate and inappropriate for you. There is no universal standard. Just whatever you feel comfortable with (note I’m talking about blogging and not about how people live their lives, there is a universal standard for living but tha’ts a topic for another day)..

    E.g. if we were real friends there would be things we talk about and things we don’t talk about, either explicitly or implicitly we express how we feel (whether we are comfortable or not) about certain topics. And the type of things we talk about and how much depth to the topics we talk about would differ from friend to friend. Some friends are uncomfortable to talk about bodily functions and others might be comfortable talking about marital problems. It also depends on whether you feel comfortable talking about said topics with them. Just because someone is happy to talk about your marraige doesn’t mean that you HAVE to share that level of detail with them.

    Hope that wasn’t too random a comment…

    Reply
  3. So far I’ve decided to not say anything really personal–names or pictures of me, my husband, my kids, etc. That may change in the future as I see what my readership looks like. For now, though, I like being the anonymous thought sharer and wisdom giver. 🙂

    Reply

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