No Offense. (No, Seriously.) | Choosing Not to be Offended

I’m deeply fascinated by social media, and internet culture in general. (When I describe my professional background, I playfully simplify my skill set as “being good at the internet for a living.”) Over the 18-ish years that I’ve been participating in and observing social engagement via the internet, I’ve seen a shift from a general sense of delight and connection, to one of barrier-building and hair-trigger outrage.

Don’t get me wrong, the beautiful and diverse communities of internet-past are still very much alive and vibrant, and new ones are created every day. Those communities are what keep me coming back, and persisting through the ugliness we’ve seen rear its head over the past several years.

But the ugliness! I hate to say it, but it started to seep in and affect me too. I’ve found myself taking offense more easily than I used to, and feeling somewhat prideful of my ability to construct an argument (and a judgement) quickly and pointedly. But that’s not who I want to be. I don’t think that’s who any of us want to be, but like the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water, we don’t notice what’s happening to us until it’s too late. We’re immersed in an increasingly bitter and divisive tone of discourse, and it takes a degree of intentionality to choose a better way.

Without careful watch on ourselves, we can become bitter, cynical, and lacking in grace and mercy. We begin looking for opportunities to be offended, and it is just too easy to find them.

Just a couple of days ago I had an interaction at school drop-off that reminded me of how easy it is to be offended, but also, how easy it is to not be offended, if you can just remember to try. Continued in the video:

Do you find yourself losing energy being offended by people and opinions that are ultimately unimportant? Are you susceptible to the rip-tide of us-vs-them discourse on the internet? How would your life (both internally and externally) be improved if you chose to be more buoyant, and engage less in those kinds of conversations? As always, I ask these questions of you because they’re the very questions I’m asking myself.

Until next time,

mj

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